Week 11: Measuring the Cost

 I've enjoyed this week's study material, especially the articles and videos on money, and its proper place in our lives.  I started out with a really avoidant type relationship with money.  I just wanted it to be there, but didn't want to spend any effort to understand, save, work on it, or pay attention to it at all.  As you can imagine, this led to all kinds of difficulties.  I learned this type of money profile mainly from my dad, who was pretty irresponsible impulsive with money.  As time passed and I got married, I realized that I married a man who was 180 degrees opposite of that attitude with money.  James is a very careful saver, doesn't make large purchases without weighing carefully the pros and cons, and is pretty much "allergic to spending money."  We had some memorable evenings in the beginning as our two money styles collided.  Over the years, and lots of work on budgeting, and realigning my values on my part, and lots of work on relaxing and realigning of values on James's part, we've come to a place where we are usually unified in our attitude and spending habits, really, our general philosophy about money.  Sometimes, I can "out-cheap" even James, and sometimes, he can really out-splurge me.  It's been great to learn from each other.  

I really appreciated the last video that we watched where the woman talked about her husband's cell phone addiction.  As a wife with a husband who has struggled with this in the past it was really refreshing to hear it addressed in such a blunt, matter-of-fact way from the female half of a successful entrepreneur partnership.  There is nothing lonelier than feeling like your spouse is with you in the room, yet miles away mentally and emotionally.  The worst was when it trickled down to the kids and I could see their hurt.  Honestly, this was the thing that brought us the closest to divorce, and we've had some pretty heavy issues, but this one was the hardest.  Luckily, we've done lots of work through therapy, coming closer to God as individuals, and we came out of it.  

I really didn't mean this to be a post so focused on marriage, but here we are.  

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